While Jimmy Kimmel's writers were hoping... that getting hot female celebrities to hump something for a sketch would be their memorable contribution to Oscar night, it was the much shorter and better executed "The King's Speech" satire that showed much greater imagination.

Watching Mike Tyson assist a George Bush lookalike isn't going to get the YouTube hits that Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, and company will receive when they go horizontal on an inflatable ball.

But it's still more inventive.

You'll also like:

1. Evander Holyfield wants another fight with Mike Tyson
2. Stan Van Gundy as Mike Tyson… Just Because
3. Bama vs. UT: Captain Mike

Former sportswriter and commentator is first guest of Jason Whitlock's podcast...

Whitlock adds to the "podcast-sphere" with his first offering that turns out to be an interesting interview with Jay Mariotti. Among other things, Mariotti says he regrets not going to court over the domestic dispute that led to his dismissal from two high profile media jobs.

"The only reason there was a plea bargain was because AOL said at the time that, 'You're coming back to work. You're going to come back to work. Keep this out of a courtroom. We don't want any trial. It's on a misdemeanor level. Go right ahead and plea and you'll have your job back and we'll be ready to go.'

Little did I know at the time that AOL behind the scenes was plotting with Arianna Huffington. Was plotting with The Sporting News. And the next thing you know, they're suggesting a settlement. And if I had known what I know now about their business relationships at the time. The fact that they were cutting deals and they were going to eliminate the positions of many sportswriters, I would've probably gone ahead to court because I would've wanted to protect my name in its entirety.

Instead, I accepted a plea based on what my boss at AOL was telling me and in the end it turns out that his bosses were plotting to get rid of the entire sports structure at AOL."

As for the way ESPN released him:

"I think ESPN because, the perception of it is that, AOL had to take this action against Mariotti. I think they had to take the same. What are they going to do? Turn around and go, 'Come on our air even though they did this.'"

Mariotti says he had a clause in his AOL contract that allowed AOL to fire him "without cause" which meant they never had to give a reason, publicly or privately, why they let him go.

I know what you're thinking. Why would someone bother signing a contract that allows the employer to fire you without cause? I've never signed an employment contract with such a provision and it's curious how a lawyer for Mariotti would've allowed him to do so.

You'll also like:

1. Chad Ochocinco says Extension Won’t Lead to New CBA Deal
2. Donovan McNabb says He Wasn’t Told He’d be Benched Ahead of Time

His "No Crack" pep talk to the UCLA baseball team, among other things...

Likely one of the crazier half hours in recent sports talk radio memory, Charlie Sheen rambled his way through a million different topics with the Dan Patrick radio show.

Starting with his recent pep talk to the UCLA baseball team:

"I said, 'Stay away from the crack which I think is good advice unless you can manage it socially, Dan'

If you can manage it socially then go for it but not a lot of people can."

"We've been hitting there for years. Made a nice donation to the team years ago and they said, 'Anytime,' and I took them up on it. I'm a self taught left handed hitter but not until I was an adult.

"Like 10 grand to cover new uniforms or bats or something they just seemed like everybody was focusing on football and baseball's always like, 'Ah, you guys can use all that old gear.'"

Sheen also said he's never met Mitch Williams who got his "Wild Thing" nickname from Sheen's character in the movie, "Major League."

"I was in the tunnel at Game 6 thinking that I'm going to meet this guy and suddenly it wasn't a good idea. Call me crazy. Sorry, I'm such an ass. But, no, I would love to meet him and just hang out."

Sheen apparently has a thing for memorabilia and knew that his spending was perhaps out of control when he opened his sock drawer and Ted Williams' '41 road jersey was in it.

"I paid 100 grand for it. I believe it went at auction 15 years ago for 200, 250 (thousand dollars.) I don't know what it's worth.

I still have the Ruth ring and the Ruth contract."

Asked if they're in safety deposit boxes.

"Yes. Can't remember the bank but we'll find them."

On how he met current friend(?) Todd Zeile:

"In the tunnel at Dodger Stadium, half in the bag, trying to get to my seat being led by a security guy, and now I'm like lost. Now we're in the catacombs of Chavez. And there's a player down at the very end and I'm coming up on him and I'm like, 'That's Todd Zeile.' He's in the hall so he's third up and he's warming up. So I walk right up to him, shake his hand, and I'm like, 'Hey, Todd.' And he's like, 'Hey, Charlie. Nice to meet you.'

I then walk to the concession stand which is like, I don't know, 30 feet away, I step up, I look up at the television. He steps into the box. Keep in mind, he's still got a full blast of magic in his hand from me. First pitch swinging because he's freezing. Gets a cookie or some stinker that stays flat and just crushes it like back of the bullpen and just thought that can never happen again. So at the risk of sounding like, whatever, he and I are cosmically bonded forever.

The last thing he touched before he touched that ball was my magic hand."

And, finally, who he wants to do the "big network interview" with him:

"I want Nick Swisher to interview me in the Yankee dugout for the big interview. There, I put it out.

It would be epic."

Too late. It just happened. You can go to Dan Patrick's website for the full interview.

You'll also like:

1. Buzz Bissinger’s Most Difficult Interview? LeBron James’s Mom
2. Stan Van Gundy Upset, Curses on Live Radio
3. Tim Donaghy Attacks Dan Patrick, Hilarious Radio Ensues

And other weekend movie watching musings...

I listened to all the hyperbole, saw all the accolades thrown its way, and figured it was finally time to sit down and view this new comedy standard. I promised myself that I wouldn't let the hype elevate my expectations past the point of judging the movie fairly.

I told myself just to expect a nice, solid comedy.

I laughed three times.

The acting ranged from mediocre to bad. God bless Ken Jeong for making a career out of "over the top Asian accent guy" but it's a bit stale by now. I also assume Justin Bartha is a good actor but he looked like he was sheepishly reacting to a goofy Zach Galifianakis rather than responding to the actual character being portrayed: a crazed, soon-to-be brother-in-law.

This comedy had its moments but should never be confused with a game changer like "There's Something About Mary." It's more "Hot Tub Time Machine" minus the water and time travel.

It's not actually the worst movie I've ever seen but, relative to the praise heaped on it by others, I haven't seen worse.

If you want to see a genuinely entertaining movie before the end of the summer, check out "The Damned United." It's about English soccer coach Brian Clough. Not exactly a great sell in America, right? Then I'll re-phrase that.

If Steve Spurrier and Woody Hayes had an English baby, his name would be Brian Clough.

You'll also like:

1. The Oscars Could Learn from Nickelodeon
2. The 4th Worst Team in Baseball Gets a Musical Number
3. What I Missed While in Vancouver… Captain Janks Hits SportsCenter

It's a question as old as time -- or at least as old as your pimply faced kid...

And now, 16 years after it happened, Dan Patrick says, "I think the full story will eventually come out about that..."

The comment coming at the end of a discussion about former ESPN executive Mark Shapiro who was Jim Rome's producer on "Talk 2."

"I think the full story will eventually come out about that, whether it was staged or not. The Jim Everett - Chris Evert with Jim Rome and Mark Shapiro was the guy behind the scenes with Jim Rome, in his ear."

"Now whatever role played there, I saw it as you saw it. The book that's coming out on ESPN does have a story on that from what I'm told. I don't know what is fact, what is fiction."

Rome's assertion since it happened was that it wasn't "staged" and that it could have been the end of his career. Whenever Al Michaels comes on for an interview, Rome thanks him for being the guest the night after the Everett incident.

Is there more to the story than that? Cynics have long suggested it was a publicity stunt that successfully launched Rome into the stratosphere he has resided in ever since.

I've yet to come across a Jim Everett interview in which he admits to it being staged. That's partly because I've yet to come across a Jim Everett interview that is not the Jim Rome interview. The only other piece of video floating around the internet is the "phantom sack" that led to the talk show host's gender bending nickname for him.

Even if Everett didn't "agree" to the confrontation ahead of time, my educated guess is that he was aware the nickname was going to be brought up at some point in the interview.

It's also fairly obvious that Rome didn't decide on his own to venture directly into "Chris Evert" territory. The graphic, or "lower third" as it's called, identifies Jim Everett with a second line of "don't call me chris, ok!" Most of the time, those graphics are pre-loaded. They are also occasionally typed in on the fly. Either way, the graphic is a clear indication that the control room has approved of what's taking place on the set. The producer, Mark Shapiro, was most likely in the control room at the time.

Where am I going with all of this? I have no idea. I'll contact Jim Everett at his asset management company to shed some light on the subject or, more likely, become the 8,000th guy to be ignored.

Perhaps the new ESPN book being written by Jim Miller and Tom Shales, as Patrick suggested, will have better success at putting a bow on the story.

You'll also like:

1. Lovie Smith Comes to Jay Cutler’s Defense the Day After
2. BCS Spokesperson Responds to New Anti-BCS Book
3. Jay Mariotti says AOL told him to take Plea Deal

His name is Taig Khris and he will be your entertainment for the next 77 seconds or so...

No parachute, no safety net. Just a pair of roller blades, a wooden ramp, and 131 feet separate this French Dip from his doom.

121 years later, extreme sport enthusiast Gustave Eiffel's dream is realized.

You'll also like:

1. The Taiwanese People are Computer Graphics Geniuses
2. Rick Carlisle is Tired of People saying Jerry Sloan didn’t Adapt
3. Pedro Martinez No Longer Tosses Old People to the Ground

Just make it through the long and winding 1 minute 45 second setup to the joke... and you'll be rewarded for it. The cursing is bleeped but the language may be too strong for your workplace.

Hank Azaria stars along with cameos from Dan Patrick, Joe Buck, and Rich Eisen.

"My god. You're Jay Leno and you're bombing."

Kornheiser confirms in a first person account what everyone else saw on television at the White House Correspondents' Dinner: Jay Leno did not exactly bring the house down.

Barack Obama not only had superior material prepared, he delivered it better than the guy whose job it is to tell jokes. The best lines of the night were actually directed toward Jay.

Kornheiser claimed on his DC based radio show that Obama outperformed Leno based on relative level of comedic expectations. There was nothing relative about it. It was an outright beatdown.

You can try watching Leno's full 20 minutes, but I wouldn't recommend it.

In other news, Larry King told Kornheiser that he and his wife may end up getting back together.

He then went back to laying eggs on the beach.

You'll also like:

1. Leno and Letterman Super Bowl Promo was Dave’s Idea
2. Biden Catches Pelosi with the ol’ Hand Buzzer Gag
3. Tiger Woods: “It was God Awful.”

Six months later, the former Tonight Show host can't... bring himself around to seeing Jay Leno's point of view on the battle for late night.

"It's hard for me to get inside his head and argue his side of this whole thing. Here's what I can say, I'm happy with my decision. I sleep well at night and I hope he's happy with his decision."

When asked if he thinks Leno acted "honorably" during the shuffle of power.

"I don't think I can answer that. I don't think um... I can just tell you maybe how I would've handled it and I would do it differently.

I'm on record as surrendering the Tonight Show because it didn't feel right to me to keep it under certain circumstances so I think you can believe me when I tell you in different situation had I surrendered The Tonight Show and handed it over to somebody else publicly and wished them well, I would not have come back six months later. But that's me. Everyone's got their own way of doing things."

O'Brien goes on to say that Leno hasn't reached out to him and that he doesn't think he'll be hearing from him.

I've always been more engaged by Conan's brand of comedy than Jay's but it's never been difficult for me to side with Leno in this particular feud.

Bottom Line: Conan and his people made the power play six years ago to try and wedge their way into the Tonight Show when the ship was still smoothly sailing under Leno's stewardship.

Everything that has happened since runs downhill from that decision. O'Brien rolled the dice and lost. It would be refreshing if he could admit he brought this upon himself in some way, shape, or form.

You can watch the full segment from 60 Minutes below.

You'll also like:

1. George Lopez now pumping Conan O’Brien’s Gas
2. Dick Ebersol: Conan had “Nice, little, successful show at 12:30″
3. Brett Favre’s Tonight Show Appearance (Video)

Glass houses, Conan supporters. Glass houses...

Six years ago, Conan O'Brien tried to force Jay Leno out of the Tonight Show. Six years later, George Lopez knows the feeling and somewhere in Burbank, "Big Jaw" can't stop chuckling.

You'll also like:

1. Dick Ebersol: Conan had “Nice, little, successful show at 12:30″
2. Conan O’Brien on 60 Minutes
3. George Michael 1939-2009